Top Rated Quotes (465 - 472 out of 749)
Lois: Oh, what about this, Meg? A pink baby-tee that says "Little Slut." That seems pretty hip.
Meg: I don't know if that's really me, Mom.
Lois: Well, they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster." And they're all written in glitter.
Meg: All right, all right. Give me "Sperm Dumpster."
Lois: That's the spirit!
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 322 votes)
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I.R.S. Representative: Well sir, I'm afraid that you don't qualify for a tax refund.
Peter: AAAHHHHH...Oh sorry--I still haven't gotten over the loss of Party of Five.
I.R.S.: Well, as I was saying you are not getting a tax refund.
Peter: AAAHHHHHH...Oh Party of Five. What were you saying?
IRS: You're not intitled to a tax refund.
Peter: AAHHHHH!
IRS: Was that for Party of Five again?
Peter: No, that was for my tax refund! What the hell is Party of Five!?
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 1076 votes)
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Stewie (in chair being told about babysitter): Yes! I'm going to wow her tonight Rupert, I'm going to be cooler than Brian when he hangs out at the bowling alley.
Brian: That's what I love about high school girls... I keep geting older, they stay the same age, hehehe, yes they do, yes they do....
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 143 votes)
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Meg: I finally get my driver's license and the car gets taken away, how ironic.
Peter: Meg, don't talk to your mother that way, she is not an iron.
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 328 votes)
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Lois (looking at a used car Peter wants): Peter, this car has dents in it, and it's got a cardboard steering wheel.
Peter: Just a second honey.
Lois: And look, there's no engine! It just has a drawing of an engine!
Car salesman: But it only had one previous owner....James Bond!
Peter: I'll take it!
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 146 votes)
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Peter: If I wasn't so sure you were a lesbian, I'd say you were coming on to me.
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 146 votes)
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Stewie: What the hell is this? I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack? (Smashes breakfast into wall.) Make it again!!
Quote Rating:
8.2 outta 10 (Over 153 votes)
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Peter: My son here is gonna be the best thing to happen in New York since Mayor Giuliani had all the homeless people secretly killed.
Quote Rating:
8.1 outta 10 (Over 254 votes)
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