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Glen Quagmire Quotes (25 - 32 out of 42)

A fan of the ladies, Quagmire is Spooner St's resident perv. Quagmire has an unhealthy obsession with Lois, feet, and underage women. Giggity giggity.

Quagmire: Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!
Quote Rating: 8.5 outta 10 (Over 554 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 222 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
Quote Rating: 8.4 outta 10 (Over 195 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire: Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 524 votes) - Vote Now!

Quagmire on a date with the Bachelorette, in his mother's trailer. A mangy cat whines.
Quagmire's mom: (shouting off-screen): Glenn, would you feed mittens?
Quagmire: Mittens has food in his bowl!
Quagmires' mom: That's old food!
(cat meows)
Quagmire: Mittens, shut up! Mittens shut up!
Quagmire's Mom: Don't you talk to Mittens that way. Mittens is a member of this family.
Quagmire: Mom if you want this three-way to happen, you're gonna have to change your tone.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 183 votes) - Vote Now!

(Quagmire to girl)
Quagmire: You must be a parking ticket, cuz you got fine written all over you.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 196 votes) - Vote Now!

Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin: No.
Glen Quagmire: Awww right.
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 631 votes) - Vote Now!

Social Worker Quagmire just slept with: Glen honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?
Quagmire: I have a question for you too. Why are you still here?
Quote Rating: 8.3 outta 10 (Over 95 votes) - Vote Now!

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